I tried Pokimane's cookies, so you don't have to.
a review of myna snacks by pikachu, the kid.
I caved into the drama.
*sigh* let me explain.
Background:
To be rightfully fair, I am someone that is within the target demographic of Pokimane. I am a 24 year old Asian American who gets a significant amount of entertainment from things that are not traditional means like terrestrial television. I have been a subscriber of OfflineTV on YouTube since 2018 and from 2018-2023, I was a regular subscriber of Lilypichu on Twitch.
I have heard about Myna since Poki announced on her Instagram story of a “special announcement” coming November 13 on a website aptly titled pokisecret.com
Aptly, when the announcement was made on that day, I did feel a slight bit of disappointment - not because I thought the product (the Myna cookies) would be shitty, rather I did expect something else like a revamped line of apparel merchandise along the lines of her former housemate Disguised Toast’s “elevated” line of apparel.
Now, streamers lending their names to companies for endorsements aren’t new; Poki herself has endorsed everything from League of Legends, Fortnite, HyperX headsets, Postmates, NZXT, and CashApp.
Another streamer within the expansive OfflineTV and Friends umbrella; close friend and 100 Thieves co-owner Valkyrae is a brand ambassador for activewear brand Gymshark, as well as HyperX and Lexus.
Yes, that Lexus. The king of non-German luxury automakers Lexus.
Bespoke, streamer-fronted ventures, on the other hand, is where things are entirely different.
You see, the act of giving gaming influencers their own thing should sound simple, but it is presented as an impossible task for marketers and the internals at brands because of some internalized stereotypes and misconceptions about their target audiences.
Gamers have lots of disposable income. A study conducted by Google found that gamers “are more likely than the general online population to consider purchasing computers, smartphones, media and entertainment products such as movie tickets, music albums, and even cars,” and that 73% are willing to pay the ante for top-quality food and beverage products and services.”
Onto the damn cookies:
I paid a total of $32.99 for my order of a 4-pack of Midnight Cookies. Accounting for shipping, this results in a cost of about $8.25 per 114g bag of cookies.
In comparison, Chips Ahoy Chewy is ty[ically sold in 368g packs. On my last visit to my local ShopRite, one pack cost $3.59 and were on sale for $2/$5 with a PricePlus card.
My cookies were bought on December 4 and arrived on December 11.
On first inspection, this did feel like a premium product. Opening the box containing the 4-pack of cookies felt as if I got a PR package from Myna and not ordering something from Amazon.
It even had this nice “thank you” card with Poki’s signature on it:
I wouldn’t be surprised if people frame that.
There is one particular problem:
I ate this thing without knowing it is made with almond flour.
Do not do what I did, please do not eat this if you are allergic to almonds.
But how does it taste?
Pretty fucking good, actually.
They taste like choclolate Oreos without the cream; it’s just a rich, deep chocolate flavored cookie.
I was expecting this to taste like shit, but it tastes far, far from it. Despite all of the changes and subsitutions, it does feel like you are eating Oreos.
It is the same sort of feeling that I got when I drank Coke Zero for the first time. We all know that Diet Coke has a different taste than Coca-Cola Classic, but once Coke Zero came into town, it surpised us with a similar taste to acutal Coke.
When Poki said that they were making this product that didn’t have “any of the bad stuff,” I initally set it up for failiure. I grew up eating, and have tried things that act as sort of the “compromise version” of certain things going further into a more consious adult.
A core memory of my childhood that I remember was that kids got excited for Friday “Pizza Day” in elementary school because the cafeteria menu item that day was pizza.
I don’t know how in God’s green earth did other kids like this pizza, but it tasted disappointing and I had to force myself to eat it every bloody friday from kindergarden to grade 5. This fucking square pizza tasted like a pizza died on my pizza and we had to eat its remains.
I came to find out that via the calendar sent to our parents that the name of the product we were being served was something called “Tony’s Smart Pizza.”
According to Schwan’s Food Service, the “Smart Pizza” is made with whole grain and is meant to be a low-fat, low-sodium alternative to something already terrible to serve to literal, actual children.
That and Lenny & Larry's Complete Cremes - Poki really nailed the head on this one.
But there is still a concern.
It’s biggest flaw:
For the price of this packet of cookies, there is A LOT to be desired.
This is a 4oz, or 114 gram packet of cookies that cast roughly $8.25; a very premium price even for premium grocers like Whole Foods.
A pack of Newman’s Own “Original Creme Filled Chocolate Cookies” are $7.79 at Whole Foods, but they come in a 13 oz pack like the Chips Ahoy mentioned earlier.
But the simple feeling of sticker shock in my opinion, is not surprising - if you look at it from a bigger perspective, it is really becomes a symbol of a glaring societal ill that is bigger than Pokimane, bigger than Offline TV, bigger than Twitch drama, even.
In the 2004 book “The Karl Lagerfeld Diet” authored by the namesake fashion designer and Dr. Jean-Claude Houdret, “socioeconomic factors” are listed as a cause risk factor of obesity.
“In Western countries, the incidence of obesity is in inverse proportion to income level: as a general rule, the poor are fatter than the rich,” said Dr. Houdret. “In a world where many consumer goods are beyond the means of those on modest incomes, healthy food no longer is.”
Additionally, Lagerfeld’s doctor also pointed out that “the rich also have more time and money to spend on taking care of themselves, keeping an eye on their appearance and on “self maintenence.””
A survey conducted by the Cleveland Clinic in Feburary 2023 found that 46% of Americans “view healthy food as being more expensive” and 23% lack the amount of time in their day to prepare their meals. Whats more, 20% of Black Americans find it hard to access stores that sell healthy food, compared to just 15% of White Americans.
Pokimane is a multi-millionaire. She has access to luxuries that many of the population do not have, such as a personal trainer, access to healthy food outside her doorstep and most of all: time.
Is this product supposed to be a source of an experience that she has? - I honestly do not know.
The cookies being sold at this price point upholds the fact that the things that are better for you are geared to those who can afford it. Other people would be perfectly fine with Chips Ahoy because it is cheaper, even though it is much more terrible for you compared to the Myna cookies.
Closing:
Is it worth it? - No.
It was a hard decision to make, but I am optimistic that things will improve in the future. Many things on the market are initially expensive, only to get cheaper with time once better marketing and manufacturing avenues are explored.
I do anticipate that once this product is sold to scale in larger quantities and expanded beyond just its website, there will be an updated slightly cheaper version that might be sold in stores like Target and Wal-Mart.
But to parents who have been begged by their kids be presented with other Youtuber consumables like MrBeast’s Feastables chocolate and Prime Hydration - yes, these cookies are expensive, but your kids will like it.
Just make sure they’re not allergic to nuts.
Ingat.