the consequence of overconfidence - a.k.a; I have too many ties I don't wear.
a confession by pikachu, the kid.
I have a problem.
I admit that I am a bit of a habit shopper and I tend to forget that I have certain things before I ultimately buy duplicates.
It tends to happen frequently with items that are especially cheap, on sale or just “a good deal.”
It is the reason why you’ll frequently see me dressed in all black, even in scorchingly hot and humid summer New Jersey weather. Plain black T-shirts are less than $6 at Walmart and make for an easy, lazy, but stylish outfit.
It is also the reason why I have so many goddamn shoes. I cannot resist pairs of Adidas, Reebok or Nikes going for less than $50, or $20 vintage cap-toes and derbies that can be made to like-new condition with some shoe trees, a bit of love and shoe polish.
But while I have put my shoes and my black t-shirts to use, my latest habit (or addiction, if you may call it) is ties.
Ties are small enough to not take up much space in your closet and if you buy them secondhand in vintage or thrift stores, you can pay a negligible amount of money for them.
What I learned is that ties take up more space than what i originally imagined.
I started collecting ties with the actual intention to accessorize myself. I sought to adopt the “take ivy” prep style, or the “dark academia” look that I have been seeing a lot on my socials and thought it would be easy.
I understand why the mere consideration of adding ties into the mix can turn into a problem for a modern "gentleman” who buys a lot of clothes.
Ties are the accessory of our forefathers - something forced upon us by society as a sign of regressive conformity in the name of formality. A lot of American boy’s rites of passage transitioning from childhood to adolescence consisted of learning how to shave and how to tie a tie from our fathers.
Some kids who went to school in more preparatory and institutional settings had to learn how to tie a tie from an earlier age because of dress code. My sister and older cousins went to Catholic school when they lived in Queens, but they hacked the dress code by clipping their already tied ties to the back of their collar.
In the day and age where New York City office workers’ slacks are made by Lululemon and one of the wealthiest men in the world is known for wearing hoodies to work, ties seem out of place and unnecessary.
My friends who work corporate jobs in New York City do not wear them and my dad hates wearing them, so why should I keep these ties?
Ties still have their use in society. They are still considered essential to traditional business attire; we tend to put them on for job interviews, as well as to fulfill the dress code of some restaurants. Additionally, Congressional members on the Hill need to wear one if they were to appear on the House or Senate floor.
But as a layman, I’m not eating at Eleven Madison Park every day and my political ambitions still need at least 10 years to come to fruition.
To further build a case against my stupidity, I find wearing ties to be a pain in the ass. I have a 19 to 19.5 inch neck that is also very short - finding a shirt that’ll do up on the neck, as well as fitting normally on my body is tricky to find without having to resort to getting shirts custom made.
I do not have that kind of money.
But again, for a young 20-something who hates wearing ties, why do I buy so many of them?
For starters, I do feel cool in them. You don’t have to go all out, totally formal in order to wear them in a way that’ll boost up your swag.
If you want to make a summer-friendly and effortless preppy look, get a solid color white, light blue or pink Oxford shirt and a repp stripe tie. Cuff your sleeves as far up you want on your arms, undo the collar button and tighten a schoolboy knot up to the point where the top of the knot barely touches the buttons. Wear it with a contrasting pair of chino pants and simple white sneakers and you have a look more old money than a Polo Ralph Lauren catalog.
Second, there is more intrinsic value to finding a cheap second hand tie than facing sticker shock at Macy’s. For the price of a regular priced Michael Kors tie, you can build up an unhealthy collection of unique ties from a variety of designer brands and boutique suit and shirt makers and all patterns and colors.
I have ties with repp stripes, paisleys and other cool patterns from brands like Brooks Brothers, YSL, Hermes, Christian Dior and Yohji Yamamoto for all types of social occasions.
Third, you get to learn about clothing in general, and how people wore stuff back then.
I saw Oppenheimer on Thursday evening with my father and while he explained the science on a level that was beyond my “barely passed physics with a C” knowledge, I pointed out that Nolan’s costume department did a good job with keeping things period correct.
Why? - the ties on some the scientists were really short because ties by American suit and shirt makers like Brooks Brothers and Van Heusen made them that short.
I know that because of my extensive tie collection.
I initially expected to fill one of my tie hangers that holds 12 ties. As of writing this, all of the ties in my collection have filled five of them.
The bulk of them are a result of me telling myself that my “core collection” is done. I felt I have bought everything that I would actually consider wearing and don’t need any more for my personal consumption.
Throughout the time I was building my “core collection,” I noticed how certain ties from designer brands sold for on places like eBay or TheRealReal compared to the prices at thrift shops.
I started purchasing more ties from secondhand and thrift shops with the intent to sell, but I critically failed to recognize key things about the market and myself.
To state a fact, eBay is flooded with listings for ties. Setting up an account would be a burden to me and any listings for me would be buried in search relevancy hell for eternity. At the time of publishing, TRR only accepts ties from Chanel, Gucci, Hermès, Louis Vuitton and Tom Ford. If I were to find any of those brands, I would keep it in in my collection.
Also, I feel that I lack the essential social skills to *sell stuff.* People have suggested that I try opening up another Instagram account to sell my ties. As someone who posts pictures on their personal account once every few months, that’s probably not a good idea.
There’s a lot of layers to undo this knot that I got myself into. Recognizing that I have a problem is the beginning and certainly, I learned about the limitations of myself along the way in the hardest way possible.
I can confidently say at the time of this writing, I have condensed my “collection” into a more manageable number.
The one thing I learned going through this experience is that you should not buy stuff purely on the merit of it being a “good deal.”
Though it is a smart way to shop, it’s not a healthy way to shop, especially if the items in question have a set perceived value in our heads.
To put it simply, only get things when you need it because you truly need it. Seek the absolute best deal on a jacket when it is November and the temperature is starting to dip below 40. Seek the best deal on a toaster because it is on the registry of the friend you don’t care that much about. Buy a tie at a thrift store because you want to be the guest that’s all swagged out at your friend’s summer wedding and you hate going to Macy’s.
Remember, spending no money and working with what you have is better than spending money for things that will lose its purpose and become a burden.
Ingat.